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| Thoughtless by miriclaire |
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I often write a poem in two ways: the words and the lay-out and structure can combine to give added meaning. This ability is limited on this site for now. But it is a fun exercise to physically lay out the poem in a way that expresses the meaning. The ending of this poem actually would form a circle. Remember, review unto others. The light from the street seeps through my window casting its shadow on the foot of my bed. I watch the uninvited darkness crowd the corners of my room And wait for the morning, which seems lightyears ahead. And I think of you And I think of me And all the times we let each other down. And I think about the way We thought our lives would be And I think about nothing as my thoughts spin round and round.  | |
| Reader Reviews Review by BLUCHIP at 02/01/08 13:01:22 pretty heavy stuff.i am soaking this all in and your words are the liquid of my thoughts. keep it up. Rating: 3 Review by joerhea at 08/26/07 11:11:03 This poem seems a little dark, but again rings true. Your words are concise and I am able to know exactly what you are feeling. Those long nights lying alone in bed only with your thoughts. Rating: 4 Review by bjohn at 07/16/07 06:06:00 i think its to personal it seems like this poem is for you more than the audience, which is fine there's nothing wrong with that but i couldn't relate to it because i don't know about the person your talking about or the situation that your both in.
you should tell the story not just the after thought. Rating: 2 Review by 33nfree at 07/07/07 11:11:25 Unique and effective! I look forward to reading more. Rating: 4 Review by intubate at 07/01/07 13:01:57 I'm not much of a poetry reader, and don't know anything about reviewing, but for what it's worth I think I get this:) Rating: 4 |
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